Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
