But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
