then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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