her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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