The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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