just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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