If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
