I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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