please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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