You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
