you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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