Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
