I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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