Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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