remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
