and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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