he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
