"it" just moved
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
