That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
