we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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