Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
