Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
