I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Your penis caused this!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
