last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
