If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
