maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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