I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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