the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
