I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
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I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
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I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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