I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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