we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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