just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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