did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
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I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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