yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
