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You made me cry and you don't even care
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
