repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
