dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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