What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
