Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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