defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
