she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
