I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
