Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
