good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
