Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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