I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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