i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
