do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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