Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize