i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
