even my farts smell like vagina
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
