Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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