if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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