Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
