I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
