so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I've blown a few things in my day
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
