yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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