you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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