Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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