I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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