I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
