Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They have beer where we have blood.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize