Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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