I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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