i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
