yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
