16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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