fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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