Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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