Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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