I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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